this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Randomize
