Just mADE A PArabola og urine
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Randomize
