you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
