Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
