I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
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