Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
How naked do you want me to be?
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