yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
