I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
Randomize
