do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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