Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
It's just like the Real World with babies
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
