How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
