I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
