I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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