I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
