You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
