1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
