Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
