Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I want to stick my p in your. b.
did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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