He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
