OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
