I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
