i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
