Me. At least after what I've been through.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
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