i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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