Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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