he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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