Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
