You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
