I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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