I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
