my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
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