I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize