none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
