I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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