Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
