There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
More tranny stories later!
If that was your dad, he is hot
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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