I wanna passion pit in your ass
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
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