bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
two words...techno handjob
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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