and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
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