I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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