rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
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