I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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