After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
