his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
