$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
