You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
