Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Randomize
