I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
