Cold hands, warm shart.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
