chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
