I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
