Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
