I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
