what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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