I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
